| Quotes: |
| How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde |
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| Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein |
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| Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge. - Mark Twain |
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| I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. - Mark Twain |
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| Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence. - Albert Einstein |
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| Friday, February 17, 2006 |
| The Empowering NO |
My girl learned the power of the word NO today.
There is a girl at school (herein known as nasty) that she has had problems with from day dot. This girl is divisive and unkind - employing the bullying tactics of exclusion ie:
- You can't play with us
- She can't play with you cause I don't like her
- She is my friend so you can't play with her
- If you're my friend you have to play this and you can't be friends with her
- etc
This upsets the small girl incredibly and I have had to deal with the angst for just over 3years now. The school has been involved, but as this nasty's mother has no issue with her behaviour and thinks its 'funny', it has been difficult for all involved.
Despite all the times the school and myself have made suggestions, the small girl persisted in getting upset.
Today we had a breakthrough. Nasty tried some more divisive behaviour and started going around the group of girls asking who was her friend. She approached the small girl, who was feeling very anxious about the whole process. When nasty asked the small girl whether she was her friend, small girl replied 'No' and turned and walked away.
She told me about it after school saying 'it felt amazing mummy, like I could do anything - cause I don't have to deal with her anymore'.
I'm pleased she has learnt this lesson now - at 9. I know it won't always be this easy - but it was such a huge step & I'm the proudest mummy around.
My Small Girl ROCKS! |
posted by Blue @ 10:53 pm  |
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| 11 Comments: |
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Congratulations! Rock on, small girl! Probably the fact that it was a few years in the making made it all the sweeter :-)
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shit yeah!!!!
Never fear - your girls day will come!
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Freakin' awesome. That nasty girl must have a lot of hurt to have that kind of behavior. Then again, kids can be pretty mean. I can't wait to have a daughter and show her how much she can do!
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I sort of feel sorry for nasty girls - I think they are made that way from other experiences. But after a while, I guess nasty girl becomes nasty woman.
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You have every right to be proud of the young daughter of yours. I know I am. Please let her know that she has a lot of fans out here in the international world of blogging.
leesa ;-) I also agree with your perspective. Someone needs to intervene with poor Ms. Nasty. Her mother sure isn't doing her any favors. Maybe this will be a wake up call for her. Or, not.
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Thanks for your comments guys.
For the record - the mother is not a nice person IMHO.
Nasty is the only way she could ever be with the parents & upbringing she has had.
I used to feel sad that I couldn't intervene in every little girls life & let her know that she was loved & beautiful just because she existed, and that she had a responsibility to demonstrate kindness, respect & consideration. I still do (feel sad) I guess - but I can't take it on board or my heart would break daily.
I just have to spend my time teaching my small girl. Its very rewarding when the lessons are learnt.
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You brought tears to my eyes with the memories of my duaghters' (plural) pain. Whether it was because they were "different" ( I had a gifted and talented one and believe me the bullying that that arouse in others was phenomenal) and one who took others (unpopular) under her wing.
It does not get easier in high school as you are no longer 'allowed' (by them usually) to get involved. The hurt and the pain is still there and there were many days of holding crying daughters in my arms saying "You are beautiful, wonderful and forgiving".
You being there for your little one is the best chance for her empowerment in the future. You are a wonderful ally and mother!
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Meanwhile, "Nasty" goes on to a successful career in the right-wing commentariat . . .
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Nah Arthur - your expectations of literacy are in excess of reality :-)
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Congratulations! Rock on, small girl! Probably the fact that it was a few years in the making made it all the sweeter :-)